Alexandrine Hasnt bonded with me , What can i do?

[kuruptz]

Hello

I recently got an Alexandrine had him for about 7 days, in the first 5 days i had him he spent 2 days with my dad while i was out(9-5).

I have had him all the other days(5) and he doesnt seem to have any affection towards me and i dont feel as if he likes me at all.

When he hears my dads voice or my dad cough even he will whistle and make noise, when he see's my dad he whistles and trys to get to him.

He doesnt even do this with me, he prefers to be alone and not on my shoulder.

This is my first bird so imagine how much is crushes me to see him go crazy everytime he see's my dad when he doesnt even do this for me! (i dont even like my dad but my bloody bird does!!!!!!)

It seems he prefers to sit by himself then to sit on my shoulder.

He keeps flying to a certain corner of my room were there is a small gap between my tv stand and this is where the powerboard is, i have no idea why, but if i put him on my shoulder and i am sitting at my pc he will fly into this small gap every time(the gap is on the other side of the room) it is very annoying and dangerous for him as the gap is small and he hits his wings and head on the wall/sides.

Yes thats right my so called "companion bird" prefers to kamikaze into a wall/tv stand then to sit with the person that provides him with all his food and toys/cage.

AWESOME!

What the hell can i do?


Crushed Owner.

[AcaciaWattle]

Hey Kuruptz, I know how you feel. I spent $500 on a handraised quaker that was in "love" with me at work...only to bring him home and two days later he doesn't love me but my boyfriend!
All I can say is Perseverance and Patience.
Spend all your available spare time with him and limit his time and contact with your Dad to a minimum or if you can try to cut it out completely.
Our quaker mimics me, learns new words and stuff with me. Will now sit with me and let me scratch him but the moment he sees Shane it's all over he wants to be with him. You can't pick who the birds will love and want to be with, it's something they do and will always break your heart if you let them. Most of my birds bond to Shane accept one... who hates everyone and everything and that's Dougal, the bird in my Avatar. He Tollerates me cause if he doesn't I'll kick his A**!!! and he has bitten me, and lashed out at me lots but a firm hand sets him straight (especially if it's attached to something LOL ) And I'm sure everyone who's been bitten by a rosella understands where I'm comming from!
Like dogs and other animals, birds are forever learning and need constant training. He is still very young and hasn't begun to learn the routine or you yet. Owning pets is never easy and patience is the biggest key!

[vankarhi]

don't give up you have only had the bird for 7 days. I agree with everything Amanda (Acacia wattle) said.

As i told you in the other thread..........spend time with the bird and try to get your father to not spend time with the bird. You give it treats, and handle it and feed it and take it places with you etc. Maybe even learn how to train it. by the way even a handtame baby bird needs training. His jumping down onto the floor is something to have to teach him is not acceptable..........pick him up and put him back on your shoulder.........it is annoying i know, but when it gets too much then put him back into his cage for a while then try with the shoulder sitting again. If you have a tstand or playstand you will need to train him the same way too.

while spending time with him teach him to step up........even if he knows how to do it, it never hurts .......... it is spending time with your bird. if his wings are clipped properly and you are sure he cannot fly.............make sure he CANNOT FLY ............... take him outside and show him the yard, keeping him close to you and talking to him the entire time. Bonding doesn't happen in 7 days it takes time............what has happened is your bird has a preference...........it is up to you to help the bird to bond with you. Ask your father to not have anything to do with the bird until you are sure the bird is more settled with you. Bonding can take a short time...........it can take months, but importantly it is all up to you.

I realise it must be hard to see a bird you wanted so much for yourself ..... seem to be attracted to someone else, but you can help change this so that at least the bird wants to be with you and enjoy being with you. I spend a lot of time with my birds when i first get them and i am very lucky most of my birds do bond with me (so do my dogs..............I am the boss). My galah had a preference for men, but loved me because I was her "mum"..........I accepted it and thought it was quite cute actually.

Keep us posted ......keep asking questions and coming here for reasurance............but don't give up on him yet. these birds are extremely intelligent and live for around 40 years.......7 days is not a long time in the big scheme of things. My son gave me his alex girl about 6 months ago and she was almost 2 years old then. She loved Vance, but now she loves me..........really loves me ;D

[kuruptz]

Thanks so much for the replies thank god i found this place, I know i might be over reacting as it hasnt been long and it can still change, i just wish that he would have chosen me to be the one that he whistles at and trys to get to, It hurts alot to see him react like that towards my dad.

Oh well i will definatly be sticking around here for years to come so i will keep the questions coming so you helpful people have someone to help

Maybe one day he will love me and then i can thank you all and you can all feel happy that you helped it happen (dont worry Vankarhi, there will be many photos )

[kuruptz]

Im now feeding him on my hand and holding the bowl instead of putting the bowl on his little table and letting him eat it there.

Atleast that gives him some time to sit on me as he eats.

When he flys from my shoulder into the gap and into walls if he does it twice i put him in his cage and say "no", is this the right approach?

Also to try train him to poo on his cage should i just put him on his cage and say POO everytime he does it?

[vankarhi]

I know it is hard, but he is only a baby so be patient

[AussieBirds]

Keep up the contact and the training he will soon grow to love and accept you as his friend, it's not easy but it is very rewarding and it sounds as if you are doing all the right things.

John

[vankarhi]

Yes just keep up playing with him and spending time with him. He will learn that you are his friend...........he may always prefer your dad if he hears and sees him but once you have that bond between you and your bird.........it wont be so hard on you and when you ask him to step up back onto you he will do it willingly. But i really would ask your father to not have anything to do with him...........as harsh as that might be...........you want the bird to bond with you.

Yes put the bird back into the cage after a couple of flights, then take him out again later and try again. that is good getting him to eat with you. If you can you try to eat with him too, maybe have him on your shoulder is just near you..........he will gradually become curious (it may take some weeks maybe longer though) and want to try what you are eating. When you eat offer him some. At night time we always give our birds some of what we are eating.............we have to now they go beserk when they see me dishing up tea......especially lasagne or spagetti or anything with rice..............oh they love chips and pizza too (we don't have that very often either luckily)

with the pooing, I just kept saying "yuuk" to skye whenever she did a poo, no matter where she did it. Then I would ask her to "do a yuuuk".......it took about 6 to 9 months but one day she did a poo when I asked and we made such a fuss out of it that she very quickly clued on that was a good thing. lol Most birds do not take that long either to learn it, but I guess I was not really pushing it much either until she clued on.

[vankarhi]

oh and as far as helping you ............... you are welcome ;D

[petiel]

Was your alex handreared by a man. If so that is all it is he thinks you Dad is the man who handreared him and he is his Dad. My babies call for me when they see me because they think I am their MUM. He is still a little baby and he will bond with you when he learns you are now his Mum and you are the one who spends time with him and feeds him.
Tracey is right about when he flys to his safe corner on the floor pick him up and put him of your shoulder or stand. Are his wings cut enough because he should not be able to fly that far Alexs are not real good flyer.

[vankarhi]

I never even thought of the male handraising thing Pauline that is an excellent point.

[kuruptz]

im a male, but the guy was about 30-35 that handraised him and my dad is like 57-60 (dunno exact age) so maybe the bird see's something similar.

Im 18 btw.

[vankarhi]

well that sounds like that could be the problem with your father anyway. it doesn't seem to matter the age..........most birds seem to be able to tell the sex's of human apart..........it amazes me how they do it actually.......because now a days men and women are not stereotypical in hair length, jewellery, clothing etc ......... someone suggested to me it might be voices they pic up on.......men usually having deeper voices and women usually higher pitched voices............I don't know........but it amazes me anyway.

[petiel]

Yes that is what it is he is relating to your father in some way. Your bird is picking up on something that relates him to the breeder. It could be his tone of voice, how he speak to the bird, glasses, hat, height or colouring. My birds freak out when they see kids and some men and also some bright coloured clothing.
So don't worry he will bond very soon to you. I was taking to a lady who purchased a alex from me just before Xmas and she said he prefers her and her 15 year old daughter over her husband and 17yr old son.