How to medicate a Parrot

[avinet]

Given the thread in the Medicine Chest section the following seemed appropriate.

It was written by Garry Wallan, an Alaskan parrot owner.

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Occasionally, we find it necessary to medicate our feathered friends. Here are some pointers to help you with this task.

FIRST APPLICATION:

1. Retrieve the bird from the cage.
2. Set the bird on a table and hold its head by carefully grasping the neck where it joins the lower jaw, or mandible.
3. With your other hand, grasp the medicine syringe and place the tip into the left side of the bird's mouth.
4. Depress the plunger and squirt the medicine toward the back of the bird's throat.
5. Wipe excess medicine from the bird's beak.
6. Place the bird back in the cage.

SUBSEQUENT APPLICATIONS:

1. Attempt to retrieve the bird from the cage.
2. Apply bandages as necessary to wounds on your hands and arms.
3. Retrieve the bird from its new hiding place under the coffee table.
4. Carefully immobilize the bird's head to prevent further tissue damage to your body.
5. Attempt to break the "Vulcan Death Grip" and remove the bird's feet from your hand.
6. Apply more bandages and a strong analgesic cream to the new wounds on your hands and arms.
7. Immobilize the bird by carefully wrapping it in a bath towel.
8. Watch in amazement as the bird "morphs." Its head and tail will probably swap position, putting your tender flesh in mortal danger again.
9. Hold the bird snugly in its terrycloth prison.
10. Grasp the medicine syringe. Try to stop trembling in fear and pain. Place the tip of the syringe into the left side of the bird's mouth.
11. Ignore the crushed tip. Depress the plunger and squirt the medicine toward the back of the bird's throat.
12. Wipe excess medicine out of your eyes and off the drapes.
13. Release the bird and squirt medicine in the general vicinity of its face. Some medicine may actually go into the mouth. The rest will be absorbed by osmosis.
14. Shoo the bird back to the cage.
15. Spend the rest of the day attempting to regain the bird's affection with yummy snacks and new toys.

[vankarhi]

Oh that was funny.....especially "squirt the medicine in the general vininity of its face....some might be absorbed by osmosis. cracked me up. ;D

[silvercloud]

ROFPMSLOL thats classic

[courtzrocks]

Hmm...sounds like Matches but mine goes more like

1. Get her from her cage and put her on the playstand
2. Attempt to trick her with a treat and try grab her with the other hand, forget the towel it's too big and she see's it immediately
3. She sees your hand coming and you spend the next 10 mins chasing a screaming bird around
4. You finally get her back on the play stand, give her a few treats..make her do tricks and when she is in the middle of a spin, grab the head.
5. Wrestle the screaming kicking biting green ninja onto your chest
6. Put your arm on her body and hold her mouth open with fingers...hard to do when she goes lock jaw
7. Eventually when she starts to scream in annoyance, squirt the darn medicine in the mouth FAST!
8. Hold the head to make her swallow instead of flick it everywhere as she attempts to go into a death roll...
9. Let her go.
10. Give her a treat to get rid of the taste and make her love you again...

That's how it goes with my green beast!

[silvercloud]

Hahahaha Courtney. Love the green ninja line. ;D

[courtzrocks]

Pretty much descibes it lol, you should hear the huge whinning sound she lets out, drama queen.

[silvercloud]

Hahaha I can imagine.

[bickitrainer]

Lol that is hilarioius

[angelicvampyre]

This makes me pray i never need to do this with Elmo!

[sypher]

That is the best procedure I have heard. I thought that was how it was done

[rainbowfeathers]

HA HA HA!!! That is sooo funny! ;D ;D ;D

[angelicvampyre]

Had to go to the vet today and after Elmo convinced them that he was dying from a smokers cough they did a crop flush, I did warn them however they would not listen, I also discovered an almost fully grown parrot going up your t-shirt to get away from the evil vets is a painful experience! But then I gave him pumkin seeds on the way home through his cat cage that he forgave me!

[vankarhi]

LOL Angel. ;D

[meandem]

That would have to be the funniest thing I have read in a very long time. And I have to say it would be the most honest account of what really happens. I have tears in my eyes from laughing. I tried reading it out aloud to the kids and I couldn't stop laughing so they had to read it for themselves.